The message of the interactive web "After the storm" was how serious and damaging tornados can be. It shows images of the damages from the Tuscaloosa after the tornado that hit there. I think the intended audience was people who have been hit by a tornado and can empathize and people who never have to spread awareness about the effects. I like how they included James Spann and how he talked about major of an event the tornado was. I felt very sad for the families that lost their homes and loved ones while I watched it. It was sad when I saw how most of the town was torn down. I think the visuals of this gave it a completely different feel than the original "The Storm, In Fragments." It felt like a way bigger deal to actually see the tragedy that happened from the tornado.
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The podcast I listened to was Serial episode one. Sarah Koenig started a podcast that dove into the case of a seventeen year old boy, Adan Syed, who was convicted for murdering his ex girlfriend. Her name was Hae Min Lee and she died due to strangulation. One of the main reasons Adan was convicted was because his "best friend" Jay told the police Adan admitted to him he did it. Sarah started this podcast to try to figure out if Adan was really guilty because he claims he did not do it. The intended audience of this podcast is people interested in solving crimes. The message that I got from this podcast was it is so hard to tell when people are lying. In Adan's situation there can be so many people lying or telling the truth but it is hard for people to know. Sarah is really good at drawing peoples attention in as she provides more details as the podcast goes on. This podcast is interesting because I want to keep watching it to find out if Sarah ever finds out if Adan was really guilty. It is sad to think that an innocent boy could be in jail for life for something he didn't do. Sarah could have added more pathos into the podcast to make it better. She could have said, "How would you feel if you were in jail for a crime you didn't commit."
I decided to write my personal narrative on my dog I had for 14 years of my life. I choose to do it on this because he was a big part of my life for so many years and him dying was a very painful time in my life. I planned out my essay by making sections for each of my dogs. Sam was the dog I had for 14 years so I started with his first. I then added a section for Lulu who has also been apart of my life for many years. Then I added a section for my dog Mac that I just got a couple months ago. I also added a a section for the climax of the story when Sam died. I began writing my essay with the facts and I had to go back and revise it to add more description. While adding more description in my essay I tried to include similes, metaphors, vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. As my peers were editing my essay they noticed I did not add much description. I tend to get straight to the point during essays so I was stating facts instead of describing the moments. I went back and basically had to edit every sentence to make sure I added more description. The class activity that we had to write descriptive sentences helped me a lot to see what that looked like. Also in that same activity, it helped me work on my transitions as one of my peers said I needed to work on them. I went back in my essay and tried to make sure I was transitioning smoothly and efficiently. Also, the student conference helped me a lot because my professor told me I was using the tenses wrong. I went back in my essay and made sure that if I was talking in past tense that I wasn't writing in present. In my writing process I found it was helpful for me to think ahead and plan what I was going to talk about. It was unproductive for me to start wringing the essay and then think what is the message and purpose I want to tell through this essay? On future writing assignments I think it would helpful for me write down what the message I want to get across is before I start writing. If I had to give myself advice two weeks ago, I would have told myself to be descriptive and to not just state facts.
3 questions regarding the personal narrative
1. Can we add pictures? 2. Do we specifically have to say past, present, future? 3. Can it be longer than 1,250 words or will I get counted off? Navarre Beach Summer of 2018. I remember it like it was yesterday. My two friends and I went to Pensacola, Florida for a beach trip. We met a girl down there named Preslee. She was from Oxford, Alabama and we are from Helena, Alabama so we bonded a lot. Her cousin lived at the condo we were staying at. She had long black hair and definity looked like a model with a unique pretty face and long legs. They told us Narvarre Beach was about 30 minutes down the road and that they have a good snow cone place. In the middle of a beautiful, hot day we jump into the models car and take off down the road. We get onto a tiny road that goes straight for miles. On each side of the road there are dunes filled with glowing sand and waving beachgrass. The dunes stretch out a long way and then we can see crystal clear blue water of the ocean. The model rolled the windows down and we got hit with a breeze of air that smelt like salty beach water. I could hear the wind whoosing back and forth. She turned on music and played the most relaxing songs. In this moment, I wished I could pause time and live in this stage of peace forvever. Nothing was on my mind besides the lyrics to the songs as I sang along. We get to the snow zone place and it was a cute little stand full of lights and colorful snowcone flavors. We all sit and eat our snowcones and enjoy each others company. I got the watermelon snowcone and it tasted fresh, fruity, and sweet. We finish the snowcones and got back into the car. My two friends and I sat in the back of car and we got back on the same heavanly road. We all put our heads on eachother as we are back in the same relaxing state of mind. This time it was even better though, we were full of sweet snowcones. We all just laid on eachother and eventually all fell alseep the whole car ride back to the condo. If I had to give a description of how amazing this car ride felt it would be cloud nine. We got back to the condo and we all went stright up to our beds because we were so tired. After we get in bed, we realize it wasn't the same anymore. We were suddenly full of energy. I asked them if they had that same feeling I got on the car ride and we all agreed. Everytime I think of Navarre beach I get rushed with the memories I felt that day. A feeling I can only try to explain. It was serene, blissful, and dreamlike. My friends and I still to this day talk about the car ride and how we want to drive it again one day. The authors message in "The Storm, in Fragments" is to inform people about the struggles of tornados the damages they cause to peoples lives. The purpose of this story is to show how people live their lives without knowing the struggles of people right next to them. The author tells a story about going to Birmingham, which is only an hour away from Tuscaloosa, where they were living life not even realizing the struggle people went through and still were going through in Tuscaloosa. The author tells his personal stories about living through two major tornados to show the readers that life is precious. At any moment, a whole town of people filled with loved ones can be taken away, and even the ones that lived are scared for life without people they love and without physical things such as their town. I believe the intended audience the author is talking to is surviors of tornados and those not affected by them. He is sympathizing with the people that have been through similar stuggles he has. He is also talking to those who have never been affected by a tornado, in order to show them as they live their day to day lives, others are broken and abandoned. By reading this story I know that the author is born and raised in Alabama. Due to this, he has been exposed to tornados and also knows first hand how destructive they are. The authors tone throghout this story was very serious and even uses short sentences sometimes to get this message across. He also is very detailed to make the story lury and suspenceful which makes the readers feel as if they were there during the tornado. While reading this story it made me feel sad and humbled. I've grown up in Helena, Alabama so I remember when this tornado happened. I remember not knowing if it was going to hit my house and hiding in a bath tub with a helmet on. I remember being so worried about my grandparents who live in Tuscaloosa. I came down with my church to help with the damage so I know first hand how bad the damage was. I also remember going to my dead grandparnets house and seeing there home gone. This story brings a lot of scary and sad memories back to me. It also makes me grateful I have never been through a tornado and sympathize to those who have.
I picked Haley Harris's eportfolio to review. She has three pages, Home, Blog, and Rhetorical Analysis. It is easy to locate at the top of the page. This website uses clear visual cues to help the audience to understand the text. On her home page she has where you can lick on some of her blog posts to go straight to them. All of her fonts are the same so it is easy to read and looks good. She attached the video we had to watch and write about which would be helpful for a viewer that has never seen it. It is easy to see what is important on each page and move between the pages. She says the number of each blog so you know which order she did them in. The tone of it is simple and looks appealing. It would draw people in because if there was too much going on people would get stressed out and not want to see the rest of it. I like how she included a picture of herself so the audience knows who is the creator of the page. The overall tone and design of the website is approriate for an academic or professional audience.
I crafted my thesis statement by using the by and by statement. I told the main idea that I was going to talk about in the rest of the essay. I just started writing and if I thought it sounded good, I would keep it but if it sounded like it didn't flow, I would fix it. After my meeting with you I realized I gave too long of a summary so I went back and deleted a lot of the summary. I only kept what I thought was necessary to know. I also had to go back and include an introduction paragraph because I had forgot to add one. Having a strong and clear thesis will make writing the essay easier. Once I wrote my introduction paragraph and the thesis I could go back and see if I was on topic and clearly explained how the author was successful in writing the email to the students. Also, I went back and changed it so it was more in MLA format. Before I said the author used pathos, logos, and ethos. I went back and changed it to only pathos and logos because I felt like there wasn’t a lot of good ethos included in it. I wanted to focus on those two. If I could give myself advice two weeks ago, I would have told myself try to remember back to Junior year when we learned how to right good essays the whole year. Junior year was MLA and essay heavy so it gave me good practice on how to write essays. It is so easy to forget all that we learned and just start typing to what I think sounds good. Next time I write an essay I want to plan out what I am going to write about. For this essay I just started writing and I think an outline would make it a lot easier to make sure I am on task.
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